Scared of things
by Raccoons-and-other-metaphors
Summary: A man who treats his woman like a princess is a proof that he has been born and raised in the arms of a queen.


_**A man who treats his woman like a princess is a proof that he has been born and raised in the arms of a queen. **_

He promised himself that he would never ever hurt a woman. He even sworn he would help any woman in trouble no matter who she was and what she did. Deeks was a good man despite his bad childhood. He was nothing like his father but something inside of him feared the moment when he will break and the monster in him will leak.

Kensi hurt him. She didn´t intent to but it already happened and there was no way back. She said something she didn´t mean and she tried to get to him and explain what she meant but Deeks didn´t give her a chance. So now she is standing there, at his doorstep, finding it hard to knock on the door.

Deeks took the leash and made his way outside of his apartment with Monty by his side. He was tired from what happened that day and all he wanted to do was lay on his bed and let the sleep overcome him but he had obligation towards his dog. When he opened his door, _she _was the last thing he expected.

Startled, terrified, frightened. Those were the words that could describe the situation perfectly. They were both standing practically frozen on the place, neither of them moving just the slightest bit, just looking into each other´s eyes and contemplating what to say. All those years of bad communication skills, all those years of not communicating at all, this was the moment when their partnership/relationship depended on it the most. It was now or never...

"Deeks I... I´m sorry I... " Kensi stopped her speech. There was so much to say, but words couldn´t find their way from her throat. She was just painfully looking at him, silently praying he would understand the meaning behind her apology but tears came to her eyes nevertheless because after all, she was being realistic. She knew she had to say what she meant if she didn´t want to lose him once and for all.

"You what, Kensi? You did hurt me when you said I was nothing else but a burden on your shoulders, dead weight slowing you down. I thought I meant something to you, that I was beginning to fit there, that I was part of the family. But it seems like I´ve been wrong." Tears were falling from her eyes like waterfall by now and she couldn´t stop them.

"Deeks I´m really sorry. I didn´t mean what I said earlier and..." Deeks stopped her mid-sentence.

"No Kensi, why would you say it if you didn´t mean it?" Deeks had a pained look in his eyes.

"It´s not true." Kensi whispered between his speeches. She said it so silently it could easily be lost in the air. But he heard it and it was all that mattered.

"No Kensi, I´m glad you told me because now I don´t have to live in lies. It doesn´t mean I´m okay with it, but I´m happy. I know it doesn´t seem like it, but it´s true." he stopped for a moment, took a deep breath and asked the question he´s been dreading since she told him. "Why would you tell me something like this if it´s not true?" This is the moment, the moment she has to come to the surface and tell him everything.

"Because I´m scared." Her voice was shaky from all the crying but she managed to say it loudly enough so it was clear to him.

"Scared of what?" Deeks asked totally shocked. He expected anything, even that they just wanted to get rid of him and couldn´t find a better way than sending Kensi to tell him off "easily" but this was really something.

"I told you all those horrible things because I´m scared. I´m scared of communicating, I´m scared of getting to know you better because I can lose you anytime, I´m scared of talking about myself because you could find some bad things about me and that I don´t want. I´m scared of expressing my true feeling because people could judge me, but most of all I´m scared of..." She did it, there was just one thing left to say. She was looking deeply into his eyes and when he saw she was not going to continue without a push he gave her just that.

"What is it, Kensi?"

"Scared of loving you." Those four words were hanging between them like a wall that waited to be climbed. There were two options for them. Either it was acting on those shared feeling or forgetting them and trying to move on.

They chose the right thing, though it was hard for both of them but it was well deserved. They were not meant to feel like this, they were not meant to be together but after all some people are meant to fall in love.


End file.
